Over the last few months I noticed the shape of my right breast had changed slightly, like a small depression quarter sized, nothing drastic, nothing to worry about or be concerned about. I did my usual exams never felt a lump and I was already scheduled for my routine physical with Dr Ryan. I brought it to her attention, she did her usual exam and never felt anything, so I went ahead and scheduled my annual mammogram. If it wasn't for Dawn Marie nagging me to get it scheduled I would have probably waited a lot longer to do it. However I did schedule it for 4 weeks later and had arranged to meet Dawn Marie for lunch after it was done as she also had appointments all day. I had the boob squishing done and the mammographer stated I had calcifications, ok, no big deal, I knew I had dense boobs, just like my brain at times and certainly now. So I then proceeded with ultrasound and then she said I just need to have the Dr review it. I was totally oblivious, in la la land I guess, so the Dr said you have a suspicious lump. Oh! we need to do a biopsy. When a Dr asks for a 10 guage and 14 guage needle and wants to poke your boobs with it, just say oh shit! So that was that, I had the biopsy done and she told me she was 98% sure I had breast cancer and gave me a book about breast cancer. I thanked her and walked out numb, not a tear shed until I saw Dawn Marie, then the water works started.
The next day I was called by Dr Ryan to say the biopsy was positive and I had a high grade aggressive tumor. I really still didn't believe it, I am young (ok I'm not 20) healthy, active, hard working and no family history of cancer. I then went about scheduling appointments so that I could figure out plan. I, at that point told my daughter and a few good friends. Otherwise I wanted to keep it under wraps until I knew what was happening. Work was a god send because at least I could focus on something else, so I carried on as normal putting a face on and not really thinking too much. By this time I was well read and informed and was just really looking forward to seeing oncologist and a getting plan of care.
4 comments:
Just like in person, I am not sure what to say because this is so unreal - and if it is unreal to me, I can only imagine how unreal it feels to you. I just wrote some words and then erased them because I wrote that I am amazed how strong you have been since this nightmare began. I erased them because I have known you long enough to know what a stubborn soul you are - anyone that knows you - knows that!! Like you, I wonder how you got to this point - I am young and you are younger than I am - so you ARE young. And you are healthy (and winning the battle with the bicycles at Spin class) and hard-working (my role model at work, and active (finished WAY ahead of me in the marathon we ran together) - so how you got to this point - is beyond me or any of us that care about you.
What I know - and we all know - is that you will fight this horrible disease and you will win. You have to remember that I will be with you every step of the way. I think that we are good friends because I am just as stubborn as you. Well - almost!
Karen, This is a great idea. Thanks for taking the time between calls and appointments to return my call. I just want you to know I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts. I have not seen that stubborn side of you, but from what Dawn Marie says you rate a 10!! That should serve you well during this challenge. You have a lot of friends and just as you were there for me durng my "little episode" I am here for you. janet m
My darling, georgous Karen......sorry couldnt say much on the phone but dont want you to comfort me, as you would do!
This is all about you....
You are such a special person and its wrong of me to say this now when you are going throu this, but i know you soooo well and i know how you work.
You will be on automatic pilot at the moment gong throu the motions as if its someone else and not you, doing the wright thing, beig positive and upbeat for everyone around you, blocking out any emotion which you may find hard to deal with I know the real Karen -and whats on the inside, underneath the brave face.But hey thats ok because we will deal with emotions when you are throu this in six months time and you come back to sunny Scotland for a rest (I will come over and get you Karen!)
I am in this for the long hall with you and will be on this site daiy!
Thinking of you tomorrow the first step on the path to victory. (My very own braveheart)
Connor sends his love. XXXXXXXXX
P.S> sorry aout the spelling, somethings never change.
Hi Karen. I thought the get together the other night was fantastic. It was great to meet the people you work with and I was awed by all of the support that they give you. I just want you to know I am thinking of you and as Fiona says "we will get through this and beat it!" She is quite the young lady! Love, Janet M
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