I then had another biopsy for the study as they needed 4 samples, now that all the tests were done it was now time to randomise me for the trial. The computer basically decides what arm of the study you'll be on. I was so hoping for the B arm as the drug avastin has been found to be promising in late stage cancers. I was however randomised to arm 1c.
So what does all that mean. Well I will be on 4 different IV chemo drugs. On the first day of each cycle I will receive docetaxel and gemcitabine, then I will receive the gemcitabine alone a week after the first dose. This will happen once every 21 days for 4 cycles. (The gemcitabine is the study drug to see if its better than the usual combination)After the 4 cycles are complete I will do the second round of drugs adriamycin and cyclophosamide every 21 days for 4 cycles. After the 6 months of chemo it will be time for surgery.
Things are moving so fast really don't have time to think too much, call it denial if you want.I really wanted to wait and start all this after I came back from my friends wedding in Costa Rica, however the Dr said no, he had wanted to start the following week. So I am starting chemo bright and early Monday am.
8 comments:
I still am in awe of your positive aura and you have already made me a better person because you have told me "Don't cry" and I am trying so hard. I have done my fair share of crying and hiding in the past - but I can't waste energy on that any longer. I promise that I will behave when I have to (I am a mom, so I have had lots of practice), but you can't see me when I hide in my bathtub! Tears may happen - BUT - the fight officially begins tomorrow at 0840 and you are going to "fight like a girl" and win this battle. Everyone who loves you is going to be with you - even if they are not physically next to you and if we are half as positive as you - the positive aura and prayers that circle the world for you will work miracles!!
I am going to suggest to everyone that they read a book that was recommended to Karen by her friend who just went through chemo. The book is called "Crazy Sexy Cancer Survival Tips" by Kris Carr - it will take away some of your fears and you will be lifted by the author's spirit. I also had this great idea (at least I think so) - Karen can be in the next version of the book when she can look back and reflect on her own experiences and provide a tip of her own.
SO - know that I will be physically with Karen tomorrow morning - "bright and early" as she says, and I will hold her tight for all of you!!
I won't be with you physically, but I will definetely be thinking about you and sending lots of love, prayers and positive thoughts. a big hug from me too. Tracy
btw, thanks for the blog. I think a lot of us want to send you love and hear how you are but don't want to overwhelm you.
I too am in awe of just how positive you are...truly an example to us all. The thing i keep focusing on is what EVERYONE has been saying and that's "Karen is such a strong person, she'll beat this" I truly believe that. Just remember that we are all here to help, so please allow people to help as much as you are comfortable with. When else in life are people so willing to cook, clean and do your yard work? Take us up on it!!!!!
As i was in church this a.m. there was a song we were singing and i thought of you when the words went "Let your pain and your sorrow be washed away...let the grace of his mercy fall upon (you)
You are in my prayers daily!!!
After hearing your news Karen I was thinking back to the two days prior that i had worked with you and remembering you acting totally normal and like you didn't have a care in the world. I don't know how you did it, but I think it is just another example of what a strong and amazing woman you are and how you are not going to let this defeat you. We all know what a strong-willed person you are and I know in the end you will be a SURVIVOR!! Even though I have to work tomorrow morning my heart and my mind will be with you, thinking about you, and praying for you (and Fiona). So as you face what could be one of the toughest days of your life, please know how much you are loved and we are all here for you. YOU GO GIRL !!!
Hi 'mom!' As you saw this evening, you have a lot of love and support surrounding you. We're here for you! And thank you, Dawn Marie, for 'holding Karen tight' for all of us who cannot be there physically tomorrow, but will be there in spirit.
Karen, it is Monday a.m. as I type this and you are probably just getting your IV....Hang tough! What a great idea to do the Blog thing. It will keep you from repeating alot of your stories and keep us informed.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know you will stay strong and be tough through all of this, as will Fiona. Please let me help, in any way, if there is anything I can do. Lisa
This is karen's wee sister here from Australia. I just wanted to thank everyone SO,SO MUCH for your emotional support for karen and being there for her, by your phone calls and notes here on her blog site. I know it means so much to karen as she had said to me when she was thinking of doing it , that it will give her something to look forward to (reading everyones' messages) I also want to say how much it is helping me....being so far away and feeling pretty useless that i feel a bit closer in distance by being able to read what her friends say. Dawn Marie i particular want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING for physically and emotionally holding onto Karen through her first chemo today :0)
I had asked karen for your e mail and Carol's just so as i could contact you both personally.(if you don't mind that is)
Karen I certainly thought of you when you were probably just about going to get your chemo ...i just kept thinking at work what time is it now over there? ..oh it's 8am, i wonder if it's already started.Reading Dawn M note i wasn't far off my thinking the time of it. Today i went round to a friend who works in the Oncology unit at my work and just asked her some questions. Of course she also loaded me up with an a pile of easy readings!!! Anyway i just wanted to let you know i will be thinking of you all the time.I will look out for the book DM has mentioned. Now Karen that you have been through your 1st dose..you have a nice holiday to look forward to with your friend in CR. It sounds like fiona will have a good time as well. Sorry I took a wee while to write a 2nd note as our computer 'spat the dummy' as they say over here ...so had to go and get fixed.
lots of love
alison xxxoooo
Dear Karen...
Thank you for sharing your news with me...you are in my heartfelt prayers. I will miss seeing your friendly face at work for the time being, and I am looking forwards to your coming back. You are loved and will be missed at work...
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