MARTINI TIME
Sorry, I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything. Well since the last time we spoke I have received another treatment, had my usual week of feeling like crap and am presently in the phase of feeling well, although I still don't have my usual energy, my energy level that is before chemo started. I am looking forward to not feeling so tired all the time.
My last treatment is November 13th and I honestly am so looking forward to this being over. I absolutely HATE the treatments and each one feels harder than the last. I put a good face on and try to get on with things but sometimes I really want to curl up in a ball and will it all away,and it will be soon. Of course after all the chemo fun I have to have surgery, again another thing to look forward to, NOT. My date is Dec 10th and I have decided on a double mastectomy. The reason for the double is my left side already shows calcified areas that they wanted to recheck after the MRI, my chance of another cancer in that side is 20% and I just don't want to live in fear all the time of getting it again. Emotionally having surgery will be hard because breasts are part of being a woman and all the fun things that go along with it. Also there will never be any sensation there after they create new ones.
I have been working pretty much full time recently but am still really wiped out in the evenings, I am however going to take some time off before my surgery to get a little stronger. I'll be off for about 3 months, by the time I'm ready to go back to work I'll not know what to do any more as it's been six months since I worked on the floor. I can't believe it's been that long already, but I was diagnosed end May and started treatments early June.
Well since I last wrote, I turned a year older and I guess I should celebrate that, although chemo I think has made me look years older. All birthdays will now be ones to celebrate and be grateful for. I had a wonderful surprise dinner celebration organized by friends at work, so that was really nice. They then surprised me with a huge card and said that they were collecting for a trip away somewhere. Amazing. I work with great people and I am blown away by their thoughtfulness. So I have something to look forward to when this is all over.
Dawn Marie and I , the old cronies that we are, went to see Tina Turner a few weeks ago, she is still so energetic and looks great at 69 (tina turner that is). It was a fun concert. Fiona is still trying to drive, although I've not given her too much opportunity yet to practice. Emotionally she says she's doing ok and I have to take that at face value. She appears ok and has the usual 16 year old attitude.
Well only 5 more days till last chemo :)
Karen
